Friday, October 5, 2012

The INSIDE TRACK on the Progressive Snapshot Conspiracy















In today's farticle I will talk about the device called "Snapshot".
















This is a device that is starting to be marketed by car insurance companies. Just plug the doo-hicky into your car and VOILA..













..save money on car insurance.



Just plug it into your car and save.


00agents like Alex Jones and David Icke et el WON'T TOUCH this conspiracy..





Why?





SIMPLE!




PROGRESSIVE CORPORATION (parent company of Progressive Insurance) invests hella debt notes into advertising. Anyone who sells ad space (mahself included, but not on Pirates Today) KNOWS not to bad mouth a product when the company who produces it invests hella debt notes to ADVERTISE THEIR PRODUCTS!!!!!!!





If anyone tries to research into any conspiracies regarding the Snapshot the BEST they'll come across is "there is no conspiracy, it has no GPS, so it is not a tracking device..it does NOT have the capability to DO anything to your car either so..."


..and this is true, the device DOES NOT have GPS capabilities



BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The parasites already have On-Star AND an iPhone, so having a GPS in Snapshot would simply be redundant, unnecessary, and hence, ILLOGICAL.


Snapshot DOES have the ability to "do things" to a car, though. The idea of having law enforcement be able to acquire and use a parked car  in the line of duty in the case of an emergency (as opposed to stopping a car in traffic and confiscating it) was fondled with, but was ultimately abandoned. It wasn't abandoned for any "moral" or "fear of dissent" type reasons (OF COURSE NOT!) but I'll explain the reasons later.


















First, it is important that I briefly explain what this device actually DOES, and how it does it.

When a car is hawt off the assembly line, it goes through a series of tests to ensure it won't explode, flip over, or fall apart..














One of these tests, as I'll quickly illustrate, as I learned it while I did a 2 year stint inside a auto-manufacturing plant, is called the ROLL TEST:




























Whoops wrong roll test. Lemme try that again..






























Google Image Fail FUUUUUCCKCKUKUCKCKKKU




One mo time
















Okay here we go, Roll Test. First the car is driven onto a set of rollers connected to a computer







Next the computer is plugged into the car's OBD-II port (the same port the Snapshot plugs into)







Then you get into the car and sort of "test drive" it on the rollers. The computer tells you when to accellerate, the speed to accellerate to, it tells you to engage the cruise control (if included in that particular car), it has you due a few other things specific to the car's "options", and then it tells you to brake. You MUST apply the brake as-if you were actually driving the car and were slowing to a stop at a stop sign or red light, otherwise YOU failed that test and must accellerate back up and do it over again. The computer records all of the information collected and analyzes it to ensure it falls within the guideline requirements to be "road ready".

The OBD-II in the car and the Roll Tester Computer communicate to each other. Communication = Data..and you KNOW what the elite LOVE to do with data, don't you?



A few things an OBD-II records (that would be useful for the Gamma Knife Computer)  include:

RPMs
braking
accelerating
speed
time of day vehicle is driven



Now, an OBD-II doesn't ACTUALLY report "amount of pressure applied to the brake" but this data CAN be intrepreted by reading changes in SPEED (vehicle was travelling 45 mph at timestamp X and slowed to zero by timstamp Y..amount of time between X and Y (Y-X)= Q.. Q= AMOUNT OF PRESSURE APPLIED TO BRAKE). Generally speaking, a typical "slow down to stop at a red light without the open box of jujubees in the passenger seat falling to the floarboard and spilling everywhere" time frame is 5-7 mph per second.


Click here for more info on what an OBD-II does/records/reports..


Though the data transmitted is relatively negligible, it is still helpful as supplemental details to go along with collected GPS data for the Snow White Machine. It is also VERY useful to aid in the development of what you see hither:




The above is also the reason why the "cop accessibility" idea was canned. 


"Okay, so the conspiracy of the Progressive Snapshot is to collect more data for the Gamma Knife Computer and to advance production of the Johnny Cab...that's it?!"



TTTHHHHEEEEERRRRREEEEEEE'SSSS MMMMOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!




I won't go into the details of how the Snapshot is a Telematic Device,  but you can click here if you want to learn more about that.










Review THIS:





What this experiment discovered by accident is that an electron, when NOT being observed, can behave in strnage ways, unpredictable ways, ways that make no sense. However, if an electron "senses" that it is being OBSERVED, it will act predictably, and will behave the way the observer would expect it to behave.

We could get into a whole "Jeebus and da aliens are waiting for us all wit arms wide open in the ether" type discussion regarding the spiritual and religious implications of this discovery, but to avoid digressing too far from the topic of this farticle I'll squash all that by saying THIS:

"The Double Slit Experiment inadvertently explained that EVERYTHING that exists was created by human consciousness, and that human PERCEPTION is the hand that GUIDES consciousness in the whats and hows of all creation". What I said here is also allegorically represented in the ending scenes of Kubrick's "2010" film. Alright, DONE, moving on....

When the benevolency learned of what was discovered in this experiment, they USED that knowledge...

Electrons will act unpredictably if they sense they are not being observed.

Electrons will act predictably if they DO sense they are being observed, hence..

Sheeplectrons will act unpredictably if they sense they are not being observed.

Sheeplectrons will act predictably if they DO sense they are being observed.

1 + 1 = HOW TO CONTROL THE MASSES. HOW HOW HOW (not why)

If you want the parasitic masses to act predictably and behave the way you expect them to, they must sense that you are OBSERVING THEM. Whether or not you are ACTUALLY observing them is irrelevant. What is important is that they SENSE you watching them, hence you see products like THESE for sale:




"NIGGERS KEEP AWN STILLIN ARE TRAYSH CAYON CLEOFUS, WE SHUD GIT US SOME SURVAYLENSE!!!!!!! BUT JOE BOB, WE AINTS GOT ENUFF MUNNEY FER ONE A DEM DER CAMAHHRAAS!!!! WAIT, LOOKIT THIS, A FAKE UN... FER REEEEEL CHEEP!!"

..and you also see devices like this being offered "TO SAVE UP TO 35% ON CAR INSURANCE":



Once Johnny "I shave mah fore-arms to be cute" Faggerbeta shoves it in, he'll ALWAYS know that his driving habits will be OBSERVED.................

ARE THEY REAL???!!! It doesn't even matt..

damn, err again..


ARE THEY REAL???!!! It doesn't even matter, you can CLEARLY SEE that there is a camera observin yo azz

..and that is what it is all about! Supplemental data for the SNW, data to teach Johnny Cab how to drive, but MOST IMPORTANTLY, maintaining and getting more CONTROL over sheeplectrons by ensuring they SENSE they are being WATCHED..











--Bo Goren














BAH BAH BAH BOOOONNUUSSS TTIIMMEE


















             
EYEZ DOO ROLL TEST TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



You know DAYUM WELL that your father failed you, so now let djhives be your father with these HOW TO farticles:

How to Write a Good Resume and Git The Job

How to Lose Weight

How to Lie


Be sure also to check out the "Open Call" farticle where djhives answered ANY and ALL questions. The forum is closed now, but the Q&A session is available to read (there were ALOT of questions answered, chances are some of these questions relate to some YOU have)

Open Call to djhives


Last, but not least, here are some GREAT farticles from some of the Honorables:


The Honorable Titansurge:

The False Perception of Courage


The Honorable 33jpg33:

"Cash Carries Disease" Fear Amp


..and last last but not least least

Hives' 2 Month No Deodorant STANK Experiment





















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